So let's be honest . . . we're moving because my husband is going to go to seminary. We believe God is leading us to do it. It's the right time for our family, the right next step for so many reasons. We are excited. Thrilled, really, looking ahead with great expectation and hope. But it is not without heaviness. Not without tears or sighs or moments of deep sadness. There have been too many sleepless nights. We are leaving confident of God's goodness and protection and guidance, but bearing scars and still not sure what to do with our hurt. These are some of the ways the Lord has lovingly shown me to cope, as I pray and try to sort it all out:
I was holding my infant, Anna, in my arms at the park one crisp evening last week. My heart was heavy, my thoughts overwhelmed me. Suddenly Joyful Anna threw herself back, lifted her arms, and just hung there looking up. I had to see what it was that captured her attention. And it was nothing really. Or everything. Sparkling, laughing, luminous green leaves shining against glorious blue. That's all. As simple and as amazing as that. And He reminded me to look up.
My sweet busy friend Katy used her personal day off work last week to throw a teaparty for the girls . . . I let Sami wear her most gawdy dress and fancy "heels" that she loves so much, we all wore pink, and we had
the best girly-day ever.
We had one of the most difficult, most stressful, most anything-that-can-go-wrong-will weekends ever. (Coming off of some of the most stressful sleepless months we've ever experienced). Sami threw up all night, Annie fell off the bed, Jim and I disagreed, the toilet overflowed, I lost my wedding ring (found it), we misplaced our luggage, we didn't sleep for three nights straight (I mean at all. you think I'm kidding?) . . . one of those weekends, know what I mean? And it all ended with Jim and I both sick, throwing up, Jim in the ER, us not sleeping another night, and still mad. So the miracle? The best thing that could have happened after all that? We had landed at my in-laws. Because God in his grace knew the one person who could take care of us, and our kids, at such a time, was my mother-in-law. AND, I believe He knew the ONLY way for us to ever get some rest, to finally be able to think straight, to be emotionally healthy again, was for us to be TOO SICK TO DO ANYTHING. And we were. For two full days my mother-in-law played with our girls, and Jim and I, comotose, were put back together. So thank-you God for the flu!