Thursday, August 21, 2008

There are many great blogs that pop up on my Google Reader each morning, and I enjoy reading from great writers all over, living all kinds of exciting or ordinary lives. But one of my favorites is the Livesays in Haiti blog, which I have only recently begun to read. She writes frankly and humorously about the daily events of life in a country where nothing is easy. It is a very sincere missionary blog, fascinating and convicting . . .

So this morning I am sitting here in my quiet house, thinking again about what life is all about, where are we going, what is the point . . . really, what is the point? I read Prov.21.21 this morning: He who follows after righteousness and mercy findeth life, righteousness, and honor . . . Jim and I have been wrestling with the fact that life isn't as forgiving as we'd once thought, there isn't time for many second chances, not enough time for all of those dreams we had. Now we have kids and every decision we make seems so much more permanent, with such greater consequence. Somehow when we weren't looking middle age reached us, and now the question we're asking is, Is it over for us? Has the time come already to begin settling in and preparing for the next generation? And then we both panic. No not yet!

So back to the Livesays . . . I'm reading her blog this morning and life is hard, really really hard, and they must deal every day with frustrations that I know nothing about . . . but then I click back on my Google Reader and read about "Smart Shopping." "Five Minutes for Fitness." God help me this can't be all there is.

Once again I am reminded of how much is lost in our well-decorated, clean and orderly and lonely culture . . . I read the Livesays or other friends in Haiti and in other countries, how difficult days are . . . but they've got it . . . they're really living, really alive to the beauty and pain of it, right there in the marriage of mercy and truth, giving themselves to something so much bigger than themselves . . . finding that life that is truly life . . . it means something different for everybody, but we've got to find it. Maybe it begins with following after righteousness and mercy. That's a good place to start. I can do that anywhere. I can do that today.

3 comments:

heather of the EO said...

It kind of freaks me out when you speak my heart. Not to be creepy, I know I'm just some random blog stranger, but I really do love making connections with like-minded/like-hearted people.
Such a great post.
I love the Livesay blog too-really good stuff.
I'm starting to think more and more about all the ways I wanted to impact the world for justice, for mercy...
I have the same panic. Then one day Beth Moore spoke straight to my heart. She said something about the way so many of us picture some huge thing for our lives and we don't know what it is, when all the while we already have it. The chance to change history within our own families, improve on the past, change things that were negative or sinful in past generations. It struck me then-that's huge.
I'm rambling again.
Thank you!

Ruth said...

Jess, this brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for writing it.

charrette said...

I love that last paragraph about being "really alive to the beauty and pain of it, right there in the marriage of mercy and truth"...and finding our role in it all. Doing it today.

Sounds like the plan of Someone much wiser than mere mortals.

My biggest hope is that Mercy will step in and fill in the holes in my parenting. Because when you think of it through the lens of eternity, being a mother is by far the hugest thing we will ever set out to do.