Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Angry



Angry this morning.  (No, it has nothing to do with my latest post or my friend Anonymous.  I (really try to- here's how) refuse to give people like that my anger).  I admit that I was grumbling a bit already this morning when my Little Miss Sunshine woke up too early and interrupted my morning quiet time.  We've had an exceptionally busy few days and I have not had any alone time in nearly a week.  I. Needed. My. Quiet time. . . . Anyway, I was already grumpy and then I read this

One of the greatest privileges of my life was the opportunity to live and work for two years in Haiti.  I cannot adequately describe those two years without using every mission-trip cliche and boring you to tears.  I fell in love with Haiti, I still dream of her, I know of beautiful amazing people who are giving their lives to care for her . . . and I can't help but ask, why?  Why Haiti?  Why again?  She is like a crippled kid who keeps getting beat up and can't defend herself or even crawl away to safety.  But worse than that.  I just keep wondering why and sit here feeling so helpless and powerless to do anything, ashamed of my wealth, ashamed of America that is this gigantic Mega-Church on a hill while her neighbor Haiti thrashes to survive.  There must be an answer to all of this, some hope somewhere . . . the only sense I can make in questions like these is the answer my husband always gives me, maybe God is asking Where is My Church?

So I had a nice happy Wise Women Wednesday post all ready, but I'm too angry.  Be angry with me.  Christians are great at being angry, if only we would be angry at the right things, and let our anger fuel our motivation to do something . . . . Here are some other posts that really ticked me off this morning:



3 comments:

Laurie said...

Jess, you are an incredible, amazing woman with a wonderful heart. Thanks for sharing as you do. I cannot even explain how I feel right now. Loads of emotion going on. I love you and am so sorry for all the things you have had to endure. The truth will prevail. It always does! Hold on ..you have many friends lifting your family up in prayer.
HUGS,
Laurie

Heather of the EO said...

This has been driving me crazy too. It's a helpless feeling. For you especially I'm sure, having lived there. You don't sound cliche.

I'll be angry with you. Maybe if I spout off enough, at least a few more people will even know about this. It's definitely not being talked about. I just find that so...weird.

Cort said...

Jess-
I love to read what God is showing you. You convict (well God through you-all in a good way) and challenge and let me see things from a whole new perspective.

The whole angry thing-today I needed to read this post-b/c I have been feeling that-yet I don't want my flesh to lash out-yet it seems you think you will feel better when you do-but honestly worse.

God has been really showing me so much in the last couple weeks. Who is He really in me-what really matters to me-is it what matters to Him.

Thank you so much. Sorry I keep putting anonymous-my password is not working, I am not sure what I did.

Love ya

Cort