I love listening to the news on NPR, and I usually have it on as I'm making dinner in the evenings. With the constant interruptions of kids, while attempting to follow a recipe, I only catch bits and pieces. Yesterday amidst the confusion I thought that the story was about Texas recovering from the recent hurricane . . . so my attention was fading in and out and then I heard the reporter say that the situation is hardest on widows, who are homeless and being forced to beg or resort to prostitution . . . I stopped what I was doing . . . widows . . . prostitution . . . I listened, horrified . . . the reporter continued and I soon realized that the story was about widows in Bangladesh. I returned to what I was doing, unaffected, thinking . . . oh, it's only Bangladesh . . . .
I would never admit being racist, but this shameful thought process reveals that apparently my compassion only extends within my own country.
My second true confession from yesterday:
A few weeks ago I found the cutest pair of shoes for Sami at BabyGap, for FIVE dollars! I LOVE finding deals, and this was the best deal of the season . . . as anyone who tries to keep a growing toddler fitted with quality shoes will tell, shoes are SO expensive, and kids grow out of them unbelievably fast . . . these fit her perfect, and were so darn cute. I'd never have been able to afford them if they weren't so marked down.
We went to a state park a week ago and took pictures. We were there for a long time, and as usual things began to break down around nap time. It was hot, Sami took her shoes off, I began to hurry the girls into the car to get home. I realized on Sunday when we went looking for those shoes for church, that I couldn't remember seeing them since that day at the park. I fretted about it all day, and first thing Monday called the park to see if they'd been turned in. No luck. Tuesday I kept looking and asking around, and by Wednesday I am just sick about these lost shoes! I found myself praying about them throughout the day, and last night I'm lying in bed wide awake, thinking about these dumb shoes.
And I am forced once again to see what a hypocrite I am . . . I have a prayer list that goes neglected for days. I don't give as much concern or prayer to any situation where there is true suffering. And here I am in my post yesterday looking down my nose at baby Gap winners. Forgive me. I am, as you can see, a huge hypocrite.