Monday, November 24, 2008

This Blog's bumper sticker: "Please don't give up on me, Jess isn't finished with me yet"

One time I was going through some old books and a little slip of paper fell out of one that I probably read last when I was in the fifth grade, and it was a list of things that I could do that day, things like "ride my bike, read, paint, plan a party," and the funny thing is I'm still making those lists and they still include somewhat the same things.

I have an inability to prioritize.  Sometimes I am paralyzed by it.

There are just SO many things I would love to do!  
bake, read, write, blogs, comments, facebook, become informed, advocate, help people, make a difference, make all my own Christmas presents, do fun things with my kids, bazillions of ideas I run across on blogs and I want to do them all!!! . . . and simplify.  Did I mention simplify?  Oh, and be fully present with my kids.  And be a more supportive wife.  And study my Bible.  Pray more.  Journal.  Adopt a child.  Or ten children.  And invest more in mine.  Have more authentic relationships.  Re-prioritize old friends.  Invite people over.  Playdates.  Have a party.  Exercise.  When do I exercise?  Be more creative.  Catch-up on email.  Don't just email, write.  Buy a card.  Or make one. Figure out twitter.  And everything else.  Work on my blog.  Post more.  Post better.  Comment more.  Subscribe.  Subscribe.  Subscribe.  Catch-up on my reader.  Comment.  Check my email. Refresh.  Find a way to make some money.  Pray about making money.  Be content but still try to make some money.  Look at our budget.  Again.  Clip more coupons.  Give more hugs.  Laugh more.  Be more patient.  Am I remembering everything?  Teach Sami to write her name she doesn't know how to write her name yet.  Christmas.  Decorate.  Traditions.  I must begin our family traditions.  Meaningful Christmas.  Simple Christmas.  But still memorable.  Which means food, and presents, and decorate.  But simple.  Music.  Does Sami know jingle bells?  Last year I forgot jingle bells.  Anna.  I think I'm neglecting Anna.  She's so content, what does Anna need?  Sensory toys.  I should make her some sensory toys.  In a box.  A treasure box!  I'll paint a treasure box and make her some sensory toys!  Because this year everything must be wood or felt and handmade. By their mother.  Right after I finish this post.  And get Anna who's crying.  And give the kids quality time.  And educational time.  And plenty of creative time.  And go buy more laundry detergent.  And finish the laundry.  And pick up the house.  Again.  Before Jim get's home.  And after we have a nice quiet evening.  With quality family time.  And my husband and I have quality conversation.  And I finish the dishes because my dishwasher's broken.  And why is the house a mess again?  If I could just get up earlier.  Tomorrow I'll get up earlier.

And I'd really like to have a clean house, healthy meals, and be a good mom at the same time.  

And my three year old doesn't nap anymore.  Ever.  What do I do with a three year old who doesn't nap, has her sister asleep in their room, and isn't allowed to watch too much t.v.?  

I'm getting zero alone time.

And getting nothing done.

If this blog is growing increasingly lamer, this is why.

I'm working on it.

I don't want to give up my blog.  But really, for my own sanity, something needs to go.  

I'm just trying to figure out what.

"Lord, teach me to number my days, that I may apply my heart unto wisdom . . ."
Psalm 90.12


Ruth said...

Oh Jess, you aren't alone! There's always MORE we could be doing and it's so easy to fixate on that instead of on what we ARE doing.

Anonymous said...

jess, please don't give thiss up...i need you if no one else does...please pretty please with a cherry on top!! =)

Lmkoster said...

:-) "lame" is definitely so far from the truth.

bless you Jessica!