Friday, July 3, 2009

Well, Okay, Here Is One More . . .

Jim and I have come to a very comfortable agreement in our marriage, which is that it is ok to not always be together. (I mean yes we are still living together!) But we don't always have to go everywhere together, sometimes we do and sometimes we give each other space. 

Jim calls it getting your soul back, what a Sabbath is meant to be. We both need time to rest, time to read and be refreshed, time to get our soul back, in whatever way that means. Now that we have children our house is never quiet, so we have to protect each other's sabbath in other ways. When things have been especially hectic, I can sense his threshold for people and activity maxing out, and I take the girls and give him space.  Sometimes I feel like being social and he doesn't; I go without him.  He recognizes that I have interests and pursuits that require some time alone to work, and he makes sure I get that. (In case you noticed this makes THREE blog posts in one day, it's because he took the girls and went to his mom's all. day. long. When he called it was to make sure that I was taking time for myself, did I "get my soul back?". . . oh how I love him for that!!)

“Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other” 
-Rainer Maria Rilke


Ashley said...

When I saw on Facebook that you were alone today, I was hoping you would have some new posts up tonight! I was not dissappointed! They were great!

charrette said...

Beautiful quote. And such wise advice, lovingly lived. I'm going to remember that phrase, "getting your soul back".

This afternoon, arriving home from a lunch with two blogging buddies, I was so happy to see Jeff on the bed, with his feet up, reading the new book I gave him, and "getting his soul back." I felt very protective of that need for him, and especially after he had allowed me mine.

Kazzy said...

It is so so important to have that private time. And I like the quote that you inserted. Very zen!

Amber@theRunaMuck said...

I just really love you. Why have I not been harassing you to to write 3 posts a day more often? ... Well, I know why.

I'm about to link to you in my "linklove."

Please write write write when you can.

kyle@sift said...

I think this is very healthy. Clint and I give each other space, too and it helps us in so many ways.

Heather of the EO said...

Your quote comes from one of my favorites. I love the long one that speaks of living into the answers to your questions.

And also, I love what you've said here. My husband and I operate in much this same way. Sometimes people don't understand why we do our own thing here and there...but it's healthy for us.

And how did I miss this post?