Wednesday, May 5, 2010

In Defense of Mothers

I read a post this week that annoyed me.

It went something like, "I gave up my life for my children for too long and now I'm asserting my right to be a real woman and get a real job . . . because I don't want my daughters to grow up believing their mom was a loser like I thought my mom was a loser because she stayed at home to raise her children and didn't do anything with her life."

eye roll.  groan.

And even as I am preparing to write about it I feel like I sound like a huffy mom with bad hair and an attitude, who thinks every woman should be at home making crockpot dinners and reciting the Pledge of Allegiance with her ten kids.

I'm not.

Some of my friends are great mothers and they have a career too and that suits them.  Some of my friends work a little, some not at all; we're all working on finding balance and wholeness and having a healthy and happy home.

And there are moms who work whose children resent them because they are stressed out or unhappy, and moms who stay at home full time whose children resent them because they are stressed out or unhappy . . . it's not what you do, it's who you are.

Madeleine L'Engle compared our life to a sonnet- the structure is there, but what we say is up to us.

I have come to believe that what we do- our chosen career path- is secondary to what our lives speak . . .

if a woman is confidant, and creative, and embraces life . . . if she can give her energy to something she is  passionate about and still laugh out loud, then it matters very little if she works outside the home or in, if she has a professional career or if she clips coupons and blogs during naptime.

we each must decide how best to use our time and talents, and I think that the conviction that what we do matters . .. that we are living generously and somehow bettering humanity with what we do each day is the only way to feel successful . . . and the only way that our children will grow-up respecting the role of mother, however we choose to live it.

7 comments:

Jo@Mylestones said...

Yes! So very well said, Jessica! It's not what we do, it is what our lives speak. This is such a refreshing (and inspiring) way to look at it.

p.s. Extra points for quoting L'Engle. She's one of my all-time favorites.

amanda said...

love it, Jess. thank you.

Becky said...

you have put "exactly where i am at" into words! love it! :)

charrette said...

I want to frame you last two paragraphs. So well said.

linda @bushel and a pickle said...

This post could be titled In Defense of Women. Making choices out of love and confidence in one's self and a loving God just can't be beat for ultimately being satisfied with life. Thanks for the affirmation for all of us women.

deb said...

First of all hello , Jessica, I haven't been here in forever.

and I read a blog post along the lines of which you are referring and it hasn't been sitting well with me. I wonder if it's the same.

what you said is fabulous. Thank you for giving me better words to mull around now.

Kelly Langner Sauer said...

absolutely spot on. thank you for affirming me today...