Friday, July 2, 2010

A post-postmodern watermelon (post)

Today I carried a watermelon and I remembered he said, You were made to carry a watermelon.

I remember that it felt like a compliment: we both laughed.
(If it was indeed a compliment, it was the only one).

But let's deconstruct the statement, shall we?

He was clearly saying that I was made to carry a watermelon, the watermelon being something good and my carrying it being a good thing.

He was clearly saying that I, being female, was made by my sexist traditional upbringing, to carry a watermelon.

He was clearly saying that I, being female, was made by my sexist traditional upbringing, to carry as in to bear a heavy load, the watermelon.

He was clearly saying that I, being female, was made by my sexist traditional upbringing, to carry as in to bear, something watermelon-like: babies.

He was clearly saying that I, being female, was made by my sexist traditional upbringing, to carry  watermelon, meaning to bear children.

He was clearly saying that I, being female, was made by my sexist traditional upbringing, to bear children and watermelons, a symbol of my undereducated small-town farming culture.

He was clearly saying that I, being female, was made by my sexist traditional upbringing, to bear children and produce such as watermelons, symbolizing my undereducated small town, and that I was in character both water-like, a reference to baptism and fundamentalism, and melon-like, soft and mushy, a reference to my simple and naive understanding of the world.

He was clearly saying that I, being female, was made by my sexist traditional upbringing, to bear children and produce such as watermelons, symbolizing my undereducated small town, and that I was in character both a fundamentalist and simple and naive . . .

Looking back what is clear to me is that the only time I have been made to feel oppressed was by someone with heady ideas and long-winded postmodernist theoretical rhetoric who, after all should have carried his own watermelon.

(This post can mean anything you want it to mean).

2 comments:

Kelly Langner Sauer said...

alternate title: "OR, how a woman can read into a man's statement."

This is a hoot!

Becca said...

Could I borrow some of your hutspa for my blog just for a day? Maybe I'd get more readers, or maybe I'd lose a few. Doesn't matter, it'd just be nice to say what I'm really thinking for a change.