Thursday, August 5, 2010
One of the things I love about being a mom is all of the things my children teach me about God, every day.
Lately all of my creative energies are absolutely exhausted in disciplining, teaching and nurturing my kids. But in the process, in the moments when I am on my knees and able to gain a moment of clarity, I am learning some really practical things about my own demanding disobedient self, and my Father God.
For example, it cracks me up when one of the girls notices the other disobeying, and feels the need to correct her, or to tell me about it . . . and the next second the roles are reversed and it's the other one scolding her sister, and I think about anyone who I am tempted to judge and how childish that makes me.
Or at naptime when my two year old hardly slept the night before, and yet resists and resists and resists her nap . . . and what can I do? I am unable to physically make her go to sleep; so what is her punishment? Not sleeping. And she stumbles through the rest of the day out of sorts and crying and I think, this is me when I refuse to accept the moment, to just relax and enjoy the place where I am but rather I fight and refuse to trust and be at rest in Christ.
And of course there is the selfishness, the stubbornness, and all of it points me right back to me and my own stubbornness and selfishness.
And at the same time I am aware of my love for them, the bottomless pit of love I have for them; the way my mercy overwhelms my frustration, my affection and delight in them, how I love to give them good gifts; and I sense the tenderness of my Father.
Having children is a daily message to me of love and trust and obedience.
Today during naptime I scrubbed the floor and listened to this fabulous message on prayer, The Scorpion and the Egg, especially relevant to anyone who has experienced prayer that's not been answered.