today I did not hurry. and, this cheerleader thing

today I did not hurry.

let me start over . . . 

after 2:00, I did not hurry.

I had a showing today, so the morning was frantic with cleaning and getting the kid home from preschool and lunch and then my mom took the older two and wow how I love how clean my house can be when the little tornadoes are away (but how I miss them after about five minutes) . . . 

anyway, it was just Josie and I and the quiet house was a little unnerving for both of us.  I never get time just to be with her, to sit and make her laugh and just carry her around talking to her . . . 

the afternoon was so serene- and surreal- 

the clean, the quiet . . . 

and for the first time in . . . I don't know, weeks?  months? . . . maybe the first time since Josie was born? . . . there was nothing more that I needed to do, but be with her.  

Just. Be.

I did not hurry.  

I did not mentally recite all of the things I needed to be doing.  I did not make any lists.  I did not say the words "real quick" or "just a minute" or, "I'm coming."

I did not think of how many things I could do at the same time to get the most accomplished.  

I sat.  We played.  I rocked her to sleep.

Glory.

---------------

And this is so random and has absolutely nothing to do with my not hurrying . . . 

I read somewhere that embarrassment is the only emotion that can be relived . . . or something like that . . . anyway it must be true because I have been tormenting myself with all of these completely embarrassing memories lately . . . why do I do this to myself? . .. so this is the memory that I keep laughing-and totally blushing- about . . .

when I was in junior high and I think only my freshman year of High School I was a cheerleader- yes that's embarrassing but this is the really embarrassing part . . .

so as cheerleaders we were really indignant that we weren't given the respect we felt we deserved and so we spent a lot of time arguing with . . . I don't know . . . the football team?  the female jocks? over why cheerleading is, indeed, a sport and we were very emphatic about the fact that cheerleaders are, indeed, athletes.

We bought shirts that said, CHEERLEADERS ARE ATHLETES.

Isn't that embarrassing!?

I mean, it may be true that cheerleading is a sport and I am sure there are some very athletic cheerleaders, but the fact that we felt such a need to declare it to the world?   Like, I don't remember any football players wearing "we are athletes too" shirts.

I am squirming with embarrassment as I write this.

Okay, enough embarrassing myself for one night, but there is plenty more where that came from . . . 

Goodnight!

Comments

Fijufic said…
Cheerleading is very competetive and you have to be a good athlete to join.
Playing sports or exercising is a part of our lives much like brushing your teeth.

Glad you were not ina hurry.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Bobby
ali said…
haha! i was a cheerleader for 1 year too and i had a "cheerleading is life" shirt. ???? i'm not even sure exactly what that means.
Jessica said…
ali, I love it! oh, if only we still had those shirts to wear!
ali said…
i also have to add that we didn't help our "dumb cheerleader" steroetype. (not that i agree with it. i'm sure there are plenty of smart and athletic cheerleaders out there).
i cheered for football and aparently we all knew so little about that game that we would have to ask the players if we were on offense or defense. the football players would sometimes tell us the opposite on purpose just to hear us shouting at the top of our lungs "hold! that! line!" when really, we were on offense. seriously. so embarassing.

thanks for posting this jess, i haven't thought about this for years and it's so funny! :)
ShortyRobs said…
LOL about the cheerleading :)

So true about the "not hurrying." Those quiet moments are so unique to your first child and so extra precious when you get them with your subsequent ones :) I wish I would have known how special those quiet moments were with my first!

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