Friday, February 4, 2011

it is what it is

Everything is all over the place lately- scattered, random, murky and then, for a moment, lucid.  A gap of blue surrounded by rolling fog.  A thousand words form in my mind and evaporate before I can put fingers to keys.

Last week I stood in the Tampa airport watching the kids play, waiting for a plane, a lady nearby talking loudly on her cellphone kept repeating, over and over, "It is what it is,". . . "It is what it is," she'd say on and on, one subject and the next, the words ringing all the way from the Sunshine Skyway north into the icy grey where we put on grey sweaters and came back to life frozen in it's place.  

It is what it is.  

And for one week everyone, everywhere, was repeating the lady.  The snow, the ice, the cancellations.  It is what it is.  It is what it is.  Over and over, until I despise the words, the expression, the implication; the words ringing in my mind until one murky morning while bringing the cup to my lips I discover that this really isn't a statement-

it's a question.

It is what it is?

Every time we have moved, I have found, a question.  

Three years ago while pulling linens out of closets the question came:  What will you do with your one wild and precious life?  I wrote it on a post-it and stuck it on the mirror, the last item removed from the church parsonage that summer.  I began to write. 

A year and a half later, pregnant, carrying boxes out of our apartment.  The question then was in the form of the Examen.  What gives me life?  What drains life?  At 32, I began to learn.  

The baby is nearly one year old, and we are moving again.   

It is what it is.

It is what it is?

This is the question I am moving into, apparently.  

In case this has made no sense whatsoever (I'm not sure it does for me yet, either), enjoy these few moments of clarity from my week . . .

I am really enjoying learning about Godly Play at this blog.

 I am realizing that for my words to be bathed in stillness, I have to be. My home needs to be. My heart needs to be. That what I read, watch, listen to, think about, talk about, include - it all comes out under pressure. It has produced an expectation in me. An expectation that when I fill my heart with the kindness and beauty of who God is, that what (I pray) will come out of my mouth when the pressure is on will be the same.
To live fearlessly, I have to be consumed - filled  - with the fearless one.
Tim Keller podcast Does God Control Everything? 


Fijufic said...

The saying you speak about is acceptance of things for what they are. Here is a quote that puts "It is what it is" in perspective.

Not getting upset over things you cannot control in other words.

"No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide." -Chuck Palahniuk

Have a wonderful weekend. We are headed to the mountain this weekend. Indeed life is grand!!


LMShunk said...

my brother says that all. the. time. it drives me nuts.

:-) but this post made perfect sense. to me at least. and i understand the fog maybe more than you know. i live in it mostly.

and, miss Josie will be 1! i was just thinking this yesterday.

happy day, Jess.

Polly said...

just saw your sweet comment at Flowerpatch Farmgirl and wanted to let you know I am praying for you as you prepare to move. I loved your Time Keller quote. We are heading to NYC in March and planning on going to his church.