Tuesday, May 3, 2011

living loveliness

Sometimes I blame it on my first-born, perfectionist tendencies, other times I think it stems from the youth-group girl, performance-driven legalism I keep trying to shed, or sometimes I think it is my INFP Idealism.

Angst.

That bothersome, underlying sense of guilt.
A feeling of having forgotten something, but not being sure what it was.
A perpetual effort to do better next time . . .

Really, it is this question that keeps me awake at night, continually wondering if I chose the right things, if I wasted time, if I am living well:

What will you do with your one wild and precious life?

I am a stay-at-home-mom (gratefully, joyfully so) and my days can be what I make them.  Often I find my days rather blank and I grow anxious, my mind swimming with possible ways to use the time.

A mother's days are bent around the mundane: to wipe the nose and fill the cup and teach, again, how to be kind, to tie the shoe, to live well.

And this is what I am learning, on my quest for how to live, for how to take Life by the shoulders and wrap both arms and legs around it:

The mundane is what matters most.  


When finding myself fretting, the answer always is to simplify.


In all other matters, the answer usually is to simplify.


First take care of the spiritual, then you will know how to take care of the natural.


Let loveliness be my guiding priority.


. . . more to come on what I am learning about living loveliness.

3 comments:

Janet said...

Oh, I so relate to that nagging feeling you describe. Thanks for supplying some words to respond.

Misha Leigh. said...

Hey - I am an INFP, too!

Actually I am P/J (seven seven on the scale) - but I would love to hear more about living loveliness!

charrette said...

The first paragraph is EXACTLY me, down to the firstborn and INFP! This is my life, these are my questions. I think of your blogname...and you...so often. Thank you for reminding me again that so many answers reside in the simple and the mundane.

(My current scripture study journey is to search the New Testament for verbs -- jotting down in all caps in the margins everything Jesus did that we do as mothers every day too...cleansing, blessing, healing, calming, teaching, praying, telling stories, feeling compassion...the list goes on and on. It helps me feel better about the all-essential small stuff when I remember it's patterned after Him.