Thursday, February 9, 2012

grey: control or create

We wake up and the house is off balance, we're all sliding just a little hanging on a bit.  Oatmeal and tension brewing in the kitchen- black.  I have 666 messages and why does jcrew keep filling up my inbox I do not want twenty percent off knits and tees.  I lunge for control and decide today everything needs reorganized.  I want a hook here but pound the nail off just a hair on this side and then oh-for-the-love- just a hair on the other side.

Yesterday the sun slanted so lovely and this old wood was so glad and familiar that it glowed like a lover.  Today it is grey and every bulb in the house needs changed.  I flip burnt out lights and sigh and look for a ladder, wash the lights change the bulbs put away the ladder and oh-for-the-love one bulb won't shine.

And this is me this week, dark in places, just a little off.
Some days I can cozy into the grey, some days I am drenched in it.  

So I have two options: I can choose to control, or I can choose to create.

I abandon my hammer and ladder, narrow-eyed (mis)calculations.  We go to the store for chocolate and color.  Because some days the only way to deal with yourself is with grace, and the only way to drive out the grey is with color.

“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous.  I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized.  If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.”-German writer Johann Wolfgang von Goethe:


camilla said...

After reading this I was just sitting here with my coffee, staring and thinking. My husband asks, "What?" I told him, "A girl I used to teach with in Haiti is a really good writer and she's just making me stop and think."

Thoughts for the day said...

Every day we do have a choice to make it a good day or not... it only takes a moment or two to decide how we are going to respond or react. Lord help us to make a good choice. I love the chocolate too.

Fijufic said...

Beautifully stated.

Choose color and creativity every time. Yo have so many opportunities for adventure through the day. I smile thinking about all the possibilities for you and your family.


Kristy said...

"Because some days the only way to deal with yourself is with grace" (and chocolate) LOVE THIS!!!! and that quote at the end :)

Ruth said...


Janet said...

Some days the only way to deal with yourself is with grace. Very, very good words -- ones I will remember.