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This weekend I read through some past journals. How I soon I forget how huge my fears were at times, the valley of the shadow, and I see now how God delivered me, step by step, melody in the fog. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't what I feared. God was with me, I know that now, and we made it, and it is well. I need to look back, to march around my piles of stones and remember.
And there was a year, longer, I could never have been more misunderstood- everywhere, from all sides- the one thing I cannot bear. But there was work to do, and one hour, one meal, one endless night to the next and it was the work that saved me, exhaustion that numbed me and only now looking back do I shake my head and think, Lord that was hard. But it was my path out of pleasing, of wearing approval like girl scout badges, and God was gentle and did not sleep and God was with me.
I tell my Sunday school students to be strong and courageous for God is with them. Just like Joshua and Gideon and Moses. It seems like the thing He most wanted them to know, over and over. And God is with us- do I dare believe it? Can our story be God's story too? My life is small and I am weak and can I believe that this story- this one wild and precious life- is meant to be impossible and victorious? Can I believe that the God who reduced Gideon's army to a hill of beans is not in the business of reducing but of finishing the work He said He would do? Fear, fire, fog- they go before Him, they surround Him, they demonstrate that God is near, He is working, answering, delivering.
I can look ahead by looking back. I needed to remember this today.
Joining Ann today- giving thanks for His faithfulness, for He answered and delivered in His way and in His time, and will . . .