simply to dwell

Reading back today I realize the glaring insecurity that I am continually writing through on this blog is over what is my place in the world, and in the home. 

This issue is not only my own. Nearly every mother I know wrestles with the question of whether to work or to stay at home, and just because children will be in school does not necessarily make the decision any easier. 

It is my place of weakness. I often feel as though because I am a stay-at-home mom, I live under a stereotype. For example, at what point did I stop being included in the intelligent conversations? Just because I do not work outside the home, do I have nothing to talk about? 

Sometimes I worry that being a homemaker is somehow selfish, that there is more good that needs done in the world, for more people than just my small family. But then, I also have more time by being at home, to do the small acts of kindness that I find to do.

And the truth is, I love making a home. I find great fulfillment in nurturing, loving through food and acts of service. It is to me the most creative and meaningful work I can think of doing. I want to be thankful that I am even able to make this choice, as for most of the world there is not a choice to make, and to rest in this decision.  I love this quote I read this week at Steady Mom.  It seems something women can hardly allow themselves to do- "simply to dwell, having nothing to do with ambition and achievement in the world . .."
“Mother seemed happiest when making and tending home, the sewing machine whistling and the Mixmaster whirling. Her deepest impulse was to nurture, to simply dwell; it had nothing to do with ambition and achievement in the world...
How had I come to believe that my world of questing and writing was more valuable than her dwelling and domestic artistry?...I wanted to go out and do things--write books, speak out. I've been driven by that. I don't know how to rest in myself very well,
how to be content staying put.
But Mother knows how to BE at home--and really, to be in herself. It's actually very beautiful what she does...I think part of me just longs for the way Mother experiences home.”

Comments

ali said…
Sue Monk Kidd is one of my favorites. I love this. Even though I have no kids at this point, the timing is beautiful for me. Thanks. :)
ali said…
Sue Monk Kidd is one of my favorites. I love this. Even though I have no kids at this point, the timing is beautiful for me. Thanks. :)
Anna said…
I found your blog through SarahJoy's blog links. Thanks for this post - something I was thinking about yesterday. You wrote exactly what I was thinking, but you wrote it better than I could! Best, Anna
tchp said…
Debbie Roth has always been amazing at this and I can't even count the number of times I showed up at her house crying when I was a teenager, knowing she'd be holding down the fort and always willing to stop to comfort and offer advice. She helped create peace in my life!

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