Wednesday, August 14, 2013

who we are

Overheard: Girls like chocolate.
Then, Mama likes chocolate that's why girls like chocolate.

Navigating this world of parenting can feel overwhelming.
There are so many opinions- so many strong opinions-
and as many different parenting styles as there are parents.

Being a person given to doubt, I can easily doubt myself. Being a person given to guilt, there could always be something to feel guilty about.

Lately I have decided that there are a million ways to be a great parent, and zero guarantees.

I have friends who are concerned, engaged parents on every range of the spectrum, and I think they all are great parents raising really great kids. Mostly, they are great people.

Who we are and how we engage with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting. The question isn't, "Are you parenting the right way?" as it is "Are you the adult you want your child to grow up to be?"

If we want our children to love and accept who they are, we must love and accept who we are.

-Brene Brown, Daring Greatly

Another day, another overheard conversation. The girls were inventing names for each of us if we were one of the seven dwarves. Mom, they decided, was Happy.

And I decided to give myself a day off from guilt.


Brene Brown's advice for Wholehearted Parenting:

-Acknowledge that we can't give our children what we don't have and so we must let them share in our journey to grow, change, and learn.

-Recognize our own armor and model how to take it off, be vulnerable, show up, and let ourselves be seen and known.

-Continue on our own journeys to wholeheartedness

-Parent from a place of "enough" rather than scarcity

-Mind the gap and practice the values we want to teach

-Dare greatly

Perfectionism is contagious! Perfectionism is teaching our children to value what people think over what they think or feel.

:: from Daring Greatly
Reading this list again I remember how very valuable this book is, and think I will go back and read it again. Whether or not you are a parent, I really cannot recommend it highly enough.

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